i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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