sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
