Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I queefed so loud it echoed.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize