this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
