you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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