She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
