So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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