I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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