Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
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