have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
