the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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