In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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