On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize