I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
