my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
