I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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