i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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