omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
