just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle