Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
New Dating App in Dallas For Only The Most Ambitious and Attractive Singles
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
i think i just lost a toe
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?