living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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