it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
