you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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