i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
