I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
