my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
