i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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