garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I will die if light touches me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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