I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
