im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I came so hard my ears popped.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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