But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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