I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize