We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
