Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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