If i come over, it means nothing
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
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