Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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