I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
