I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
