just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
