Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
