Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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