how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
