Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
