Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
