that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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