It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
