Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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