Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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