My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
