Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
