we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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