a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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