Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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