this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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