I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
