Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
