I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Randomize
