my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
People in love make me want to vomit
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
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