I wish I could teleport
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
