Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
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