There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
