I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
