Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
