spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Randomize
